HolidayRollercoaster
“Hello my favorite huge hand-painted ornament! I have missed you!”
“And we are all so happy to see you again! Thank you for bringing us out of storage. We have much to catch up about.”
And catch-up we do ...We walk down memory lane together.
One by one I unpack treasures from bins that have been stored away for many months. Treasures of red, white, green and gold, sparkly and glittery, some old and worn, some younger than that. Treasures that I know well, some have been in my family since I was young, but every year I am surprised and delighted when I unpack and unwrap them.
Like old friends coming for a yearly visit, we settle into our traditions easily, we pick up right where we left off. And we carry on rather poignant conversations.
Mostly our conversations are about memories.
Memories of Holidays gone by - My childhood and my children; My parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, nieces, nephews, and cousins; My old and new neighbors, friends, students, lovers, and loved ones; Huge family gatherings and small intimate moments; Joyful times, lonely times; It all comes rushing back in a bittersweet whir of smiles and sadness, anticipation and disappointment, a Rollercoaster of nostalgia.
Backdrop to my yearly travel-back-through-time, is a tangible turntable – round and round it plays wobbly vinyl versions of carols dear to my heart. Each scritchy-scratchy song holds more than the timeless message of Peace-on-Earth … Songs hold memories too.
Today’s decorating finally done, I plop with satisfaction onto the sofa, put my feet up in front of a crackling fire, a glass of eggnog yum, and take in the wondrous site of my twinkling, bedazzled green tree, a wreath over the mantle, a Nativity on the piano, and candles flickering throughout the room, throughout the house. Jackson the dog jumps up to join me with a warm furry snuggle.
I take in a slow, deep, satisfied breath, close my eyes, and determine to focus on the joy rather than the sadness of the Rollercoaster ride I just climbed off of.
And then … I hear Cleopatra the cat behind me, rustling through tissue paper. (Hunting, no doubt, for some leftover Christmas bauble that she can pounce upon and send it flying across the room, to chase it and throw it high again, and again, and again). Jackson opens his eyes up to the sound. His tail wagging, he quickly sits up, turns around, and stretches his body upward to peek over the rim of the sofa. He looks down at Cleo and then looks over at me ..."Is she allowed to do that?" his quizzical big brown eyes ask. Cleo's rustlings remind me of the multiple bins and boxes piled high behind the sofa, spilling over with packing paper messes, and a few broken things.
“Sigh …
Shall I completely ignore the nagging feeling about the mess behind me? Or shall I climb up, out of this comfortable place, to at least sweep up the broken things? Or … perhaps I can drag the entire mess, and the broken things, just a few feet away, to stuff it all behind the guest room door – and shut that door, to think about it all later? But then ... what if someone texts or calls to say, “we’re coming to stay the night.” ?
Whatever I decide, there will be potentially negative or positive consequences. I am caught, somewhere between joyful comfort, and an annoying necessary task.
And isn’t that the way of life? There is always some mess, always some broken thing. At any given time, somewhere in our lives, or in the lives of those we love, something needs cleaning up, repaired, or discarded.
Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual messes and broken things. Some are of our own doing, and some are dumped upon us by circumstances beyond our control. Either way, the messes stay messy and the broken things stay broken, until we do something about them.
Holidays are complicated about such things.
Holidays are hopeful and well intentioned - they are bright and colorful, and meant for joy, and to be a time and space for humans to take a break from the messiness of life, a break from the brokenness.
But then again, Holidays also create more messes and more broken things. And for some people, a new Holiday season can create mild or intense anxiety and depression brought on by memories of past Holiday messes and broken things.
Most often, for most people, there is a mixture of joy and sadness, laughter and tears … Holidays and Holiday memories are a Rollercoaster waiting to happen.
Rollercoasters can be fun. Rollercoasters can be annoying. Rollercoasters can be terrifying.
For some people this current Holiday Rollercoaster is mostly joyful.
For others this current Holiday Rollercoaster is annoying, something to be endured, and to look forward to the end of it.
For others, this current Holiday Rollercoaster, there is great anxiety, depression, traumatic distress, and a desire to escape.
Each of us has our own unique, complex Rollercoaster of responses and reactions to this end-of-the-year marathon of Holiday happenings.
How very complicated are the messes and the broken things of our lives. And there is not one response to this dilemma that fits for everything, or for everyone.
For those of you who find this current Holiday Rollercoaster mostly joyful, what a wonderful thing that is for you. Hold on tight to it.
For those of you who find this current Holiday Rollercoaster mostly sad, I pray you will somehow find peace in the midst of it all. And that something I am writing here today, as you read it, you will feel less alone.
Treat yourself kindly about this ... no matter what anyone else says or does about it.
"Even when we are all in the same storm, we are definitely not all in the same boat!" (Unknown)
Grab hold of HOPE
It may be difficult to find, but there is always a spark of HOPE somewhere to be found - grab hold, and hold on tight, one moment at a time, one day at a time … until this current Holiday Rollercoaster season passes.
And, it will pass.
“It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.” (unknown)
Hold on the best you know how.
“When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on.” (Theodore Roosevelt)
HOPE has its foundation in Truth, and “Truth will (eventually) set you Free” (John 8:32)
The Freedom of Truth is coming for you. Freedom from this current Holiday Rollercoaster, and Freedom from the past messes and broken things that cause your present distress.
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Today is (more than) difficult ...Yes.
AND
There is HOPE for today and for tomorrow ... Yes.
These two seemingly opposite things can be true at the same time.
Both are true, yes, BUT “let your HOPES, not your hurts, shape your future” (Robert H. Schuller)
“(God) who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion…” (Philippians 1:6)
HOPE is always, always, always available for you to grab hold of.
“HOPE is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul. And sings the tune without the words, and never stops - at all.” (Emily Dickinson)
HOPE is more than a wish, more than a dream. It is an actual source of power. It is powerful because it is forever tied together with Faith.
“Faith is the substance of things HOPED for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
Faith is a source of a power that can change impossible situations.
“Nothing is impossible to him or her who believes.” (Mark 9:23)
Human beings have been created with this incredible ability, by Faith, to make things happen. Small things, large things, and miracle things.
If you are having difficulty finding even a small spark of HOPE, or in believing in your own ability to create change, I encourage you to call out to the One Who is the source of all good things, and Who is Love.
“ God is Love...and...With God nothing is impossible.” (I John 4:8; Luke 1:37)
Nothing of how we feel, the sadness, the grief, and nothing of our past or present will change that Love.
· “…Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the power of any hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the Love of God...” (Romans 8:38-39)
~ ~ ~
To those of you who are mostly joyful this season, please be mindful of those who are not. Share some of your Joy. Share some God-Love. Be a light.
Who knows? Perhaps you may be that spark of HOPE someone needs to hold on to.
Perhaps because of you, this year someone will not give up altogether.
Perhaps your actions of Love this year may become someone's stepping stone towards next year being a mostly joyful Holiday Rollercoaster. ·
You may think your light is small. But in a dark place even a small light can make all the difference.
Peace and Earth, Good Will Towards ALL
~ Connie
Holiday Rollercoaster
Connie Ruth Christiansen
December 6, 2024
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